Section three: partners and family

The third part of the YouGov Big Survey on Family shows how Britons get on with their partner’s family, how much in-law approval matters, and whether people should side with a spouse or relatives in disputes.

How well do Britons get on with their partner’s family?

Among those Britons who have a romantic partner, 37% say they get on well with their partner’s family, and a further 48% say they get on fairly well. Only one in nine (9%) feel they get on badly with their significant other’s clan.

While the acrimonious mother-in-law relationship trope is beloved of comedians of a certain era, those in a relationship who know their mother-in-law overwhelmingly say they have get on well with them (86%) than badly (11%). When it comes to father in laws, the figures are almost identical, with 86% saying they get on well and only 8% thinking they have a poor relationship.

How much do Britons want the approval of their partner’s family, and how much does their own family’s approval of their partner matter to them?

Two thirds of Britons (67%) say that it matters either a great deal or fair amount to them that their partner’s family has a positive impression of them. A quarter (25%), however, are not overly bothered with having good relations with the in-laws.

The public respond similarly when it comes to the importance they place on their own family having a positive impression of their partner, which 71% say matters to them but for 23% is unimportant.

Men are less likely to care about such things with 28-30% saying these impressions aren’t important to them, compared to 18-22% of women.

Meanwhile, the younger Britons are, the more likely to care about such family impressions. In both cases, 43% of 18-24 year olds say it matters “a great deal” how their partner’s family sees them, and how their family sees their partner, but among the over-55s this figure falls to 20% in the first scenario and 26% in the second.

Fully a third of over-55s (33%) don’t care what their partner’s family thinks of them, compared to only 7% of 18-24 year olds.

Should you side with your spouse over your family, or vice versa?

While relationship advice forums might be replete with distressed spouses who are caught in the middle of a fight between their partner and their family, where does the public stand when it comes to disputes?

As a general rule, when there is a dispute between a person’s spouse and a person’s family, the public tend to think they should side with their partner (45%) rather than their family (6%).

A high number of people answered “don’t know” (49%), doubtless thinking that ultimately the circumstances dictate the answer.

See the full results here

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Photo: Getty