A third of straight men are likewise unwilling to date a bisexual woman
Each year, 23 September marks Bisexual Visibility Day, which aims to increase public understanding of bisexuality and recognise bisexual people and their experiences.
YouGov research shows that 48% of Britons have a positive opinion of bisexual people, and that only 8% have a negative view, with almost all of the rest saying they see bisexual people neither positively nor negatively.
These figures closely match attitudes towards lesbian and gay people, although attitudes towards transgender people are more divided, with 36% positive, 34% neutral and 26% negative.
However, while these findings suggest a broad acceptance of bisexual people by the British public, newly released YouGov data shows that this acceptance does not necessarily extend to people’s dating lives – particularly in the case of straight women.
The results find that as many as two thirds of heterosexual women (66%) say that they would be unwilling to date a bisexual man, compared to only 19% who would be willing to do so. This is substantially higher than the number of straight men saying they wouldn’t date a bisexual woman (35%), with 53% instead saying they would be willing.
Even among straight women who say they have a “very positive” opinion of bisexual people, 46% still say they would be unwilling to date a bisexual man. By contrast, only 7% of straight men with a very positive view of bisexual people would not be willing to date a bisexual woman.
Age plays a significant role in attitudes, with older people being less willing to date a bisexual person.
However, even among 18-34 year old straight women, almost half (47%) are unwilling to date a bisexual man, a figure which rises to fully 77% among those aged 55+.
These figures are lower among straight men, although the age curve is still steep. While 19% of straight men aged 18-34 say they are unwilling to date a bisexual woman, this increases to 47% among the over-55s.
One in five lesbian women say they are unwilling to date a bisexual woman
Minorities of gay and lesbian people also express an unwillingness to date bisexual people – as do some bisexuals themselves.
One in five lesbian women (20%) say they would be unwilling to date a bisexual woman. This compares to only 3% of bisexual women and 9% of bisexual men who say the same.
One in nine gay men (11%) say they would be unwilling to date a bisexual man, although this figure does not differ so significantly from the number of bisexual men and women (10-15%) saying the same.
Age is again a factor in gay and lesbian Britons’ willingness to date a bisexual person, to varying degrees.
This is particularly the case for lesbian women. While just 10% of lesbian women aged 18-34 say they would be unwilling to date a bisexual woman, alongside 21% of 35-54 year olds, this rises to 53% among those aged 55 and above.*
Among gay men, the generational differences are far less dramatic, with only 5% of 18-34 year olds unwilling to date a bisexual man, rising to 18% among the over-55s. It is worth noting, however, that the number of gay men who are “very willing” to date a bisexual man does drop from 71% of 18-34 year olds to 36% among the over-55s.
Why won’t straight people date bisexuals?
We asked a follow-up question with straight men and women asking why they were unwilling to date a bisexual person. Respondents answered in their own words, which we have categorised as below.
Many respondents did not, or were not able to, articulate what their hang-ups are, with vague or totally nondescript answers being very common. Around one in six straight women (16%) and straight men (19%) who are unwilling to date bisexuals gave what we have classified as ‘non-answers’, i.e. saying things like “just don’t” or “my preference”.
Others (5-9%) gave generic expressions of general discomfort, such as “I wouldn’t be comfortable” or “don’t like the idea”, and others still (5-7%) admitted they weren’t sure why they felt that way.
Among the more tangible answers, the most common (16-17%) is a feeling of insecurity about the prospect of dating a bisexual person, with people who say so feeling that bisexual people are more inclined to cheat, or that they would always feel like they were missing what they would have had with a same-sex partner.
- “I’m a very insecure person, and the jealous type. I couldn’t date someone knowing that I can only satisfy half their sexual cravings and would have no idea whether they are spending time with friends or cheating” – Straight man, age 36. Has a “neither positive nor negative” opinion of bisexual people
- “Its a me issue, I dont want to be paranoid about cheating with both genders and I dont want to worry that I won't be enough to satisfy.” – Straight woman, age 32. Has a “very positive” opinion of bisexual people
- “I feel that although she may be faithful to me regarding men, somehow I think she may feel that being unfaithful with another woman wouldn’t be bad” – Straight man, age 64. Has a “neither positive nor negative” opinion of bisexual people
- “I would always be left wondering if I was enough.” – Straight woman, age 46. Has a “very positive” opinion of bisexual people.
- “She would always have something I couldn't give her in her mind” – Straight man, age 60. Has a “fairly positive” opinion of bisexual people
Another of the more common answers for not wanting to date a bisexual person – given by 12-13% of both groups – was simply to say that it is because “I am straight” and/or that “I want my partner to be straight”. This could potentially indicate a certain amount of confusion as to what bisexuality entails, although it is impossible to say with confidence given that respondents generally did not elaborate further.
There are a couple of reasons given slightly more often by one group than the other. Straight women, for instance, are more likely to have more explicitly expressed discomfort or in some cases active disgust at the prospect of dating someone who had had sex with a same-sex partner, at 9% vs 2%.
Straight women are also slightly more likely to have raised health risks (8%) than straight men (3%) as a reason for being wary of dating a bisexual person.
For their part, straight men who would not date a bisexual woman are slightly more likely to have given moral or religious objections, or to otherwise consider bisexuality or having been with a same-sex partner to be ‘wrong’ in some way, at 10% vs 4%.
Elsewhere, smatterings of people gave less common answers, such as believing that bisexuals want polyamorous/open relationships (3-5%), seeing bisexuals as confused, indecisive or ‘actually gay’ (2%), believing that being in a relationship with a bisexual person would be “complicated” (2%), considering bisexuals to be more promiscuous (1%), or apparently confusing bisexual and transgender people (1%).
Our study clearly demonstrates a disconnect between general attitudes and romantic attitudes towards bisexuals among the broader public. While bisexual people may have attained a degree of visibility in British society, work still remains in challenging assumptions about bisexuals.
* note a small sample size for lesbian women aged 55+ (n=76)
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